In today’s society, it’s easier than ever to compare yourself to others around you. Making yourself feel this way has hugely negative effects that you may not even be realizing. Constantly comparing yourself to others can slowly eat away at your self-esteem and leave you insecure about things you previously liked. It can impact your day-to-day life without you even noticing. People you know, people you don’t – everyone’s life seems amazing online.
It’s tough not to compare yourself with others, given the preoccupation we have with perfection in modern life. If we start examining our achievements and accomplishments, then we can raise the bar even further. It is natural to compare yourself to others, and even envy them. But when you become obsessed with your deficiencies, rather than the areas in which you excel, you are focused on the wrong thing. This can be debilitating, and it can even prevent you from taking part in many aspects of your life. Constant comparison with others tends to lower your self-esteem and make you feel bad about yourself. Resist the urge to compare yourself with others by becoming aware of how you view yourself. Set goals for yourself that will build your confidence and relearn behaviors that will improve your opinion of yourself.
Here are 5 ways to finally stop comparing yourself to others:
1. Stay Off Social Media
Whilst this may not apply to everybody, it will certainly apply to a lot. People post the best versions of themselves on social media and very rarely put out something negative – don’t compare your real life to somebody else’s ‘best bits’. Just because somebody may look like he or she have a perfect life, doesn’t mean you know what goes on behind closed doors.
They’re probably feeling as insecure as you are and to recognize this is a good step towards not comparing yourself. Or, if you’re going to remind yourself of this fact so you’re not being negative towards yourself because your life isn’t as perfect as theirs seems to be.
If you can’t help but feel negativity when you go onto your social media accounts, stay off it for a while – especially when you’re having a low self-esteem day. Spend some time with your friends or family or just simply spend time alone – appreciate yourself more without seeing what everyone else is up to and you’ll feel a lot better for it.
2. Find Out The Root Cause Of Comparison
For example, you may feel guilt, regret, and frustration when you compare yourself to your slim friend who exercises regularly and eats healthy while you binged on pizza at midnight while watching Netflix. When we find ourselves comparing to another, let’s use this as an opportunity to identify the underlying reasons of why we’re making that comparison and get in touch with how we feel. Is it born out of guilt, shame or a sense of worthlessness? Is it worth your time and energy comparing? Will either of you benefit from comparing? If the answers are not positive, then maybe it’s time you considered addressing those issues and patiently deal with them.
3. Brag A Little
When we compare ourselves to other people, we often compare our low points to their high points. It’s important to remember that other people’s accomplishments are not your failures. Remind yourself of your own accomplishments, and then try and brag about them a little! Call your grandma and tell her about that raise you got recently! Show a friend some work you did that you’re proud of! Let yourself revel in your own greatness because you deserve it.
4. Realize That Idealizing Someone Is Unrealistic
We only focus on certain aspects of the person we idealize, and they become a grandiose fantasy that we create. We choose only to look at those features we idealize while we reject other characteristics that were not appealing to us.
5. Forgive Yourself
It's human nature to compare ourselves to other people. Forgive yourself for this nasty habit we've all succumbed to but stay committed to the intention that you'll no longer do it.
Whilst comparing ourselves is a natural instinct, we must start putting ourselves first in order to preserve our mental health and grow our self-esteem. In this post, I shared with you 5 ways to finally stop comparing yourself to others.
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